I need to BLOG more

Like I mentioned before in my previous post I have been struggling lately with being depressed and want to try now focus on the positive. I am starting to see a therapist. YES..a therapist!
We talked about a problem I have and that is I think TO much, and have to much time to do this. We talked about ways I could keep my brain occupied with good things rather then letting it steer into the negative side. Of coarse get a hobby came up..ha ha! I think I have let go of some things I truly enjoy doing. I think it's important to keep our brains active. I have compiled a list for you all that I am going to be working on for the new year: GO ME for having new years resolutions done early..ha. They are actually not New Years resolutions but anyway..ha..here is the list:
1. I love to write and express my feelings. So with that said I will be blogging alot more. I am not the most amazing writer on the planet, I can't spell worth a darn, and my grammer may be bad but I LOVE it!
2. I also love to read, and I have not read to many books since I got married. Oh I love to snuggle up and read a good book. Nothing helps my brain escape more.
3. Focus on becoming closer with friends or family members I have neglected. I get to wrapped up and into myself that I don't stop to think of this. I have made it a goal to re-connect with one friend or family member a week.I have been blessed with so many people in my life that I have many that I need to bring back into my life.
4.Try a new hobby. Ok I have always wanted to make jewelry for a while now. I know starting out may be an expense but by darn this is something I have wanted to try for a while. When all the holiday spending goes away I will invest some money to start myself up on this.
5.Exercise more..of coarse that is a given. For those of you who don't know I was in very wonderful shape for my wedding and I worked out regulary for year and was very dedicated. I then got married and let it all slip away gaining 30 pounds, hence the drepression. Well, that's over now and pulling myself out. On a side note you can follow me on my fitness journy at nickandbeccaremyfitness.blogspot.com (I will post it on my blog roll).
6.I have wanted to for as long as I can remember make a quilt. Who knows why or even how to start but I am sure I could hit up some craft store. I probably need a sewing machine, but maybe my mom has a spare one...mom?? do ya?? or anyone??
7.Bake and cook more. I do this alot anyway, but I want to try out healthier recipes. I modify alot of recipes to make them healthier, but I want to try out new ingredients and get more creative. I will be posting them on my fitness blog, so if you want to copy them, they will be on there.
8.Be a better wife. Think more and do more for my wonderful husband.
9.Start playing the piano again. This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. Anyone want to donate a piano to me???
10. Be a better family member SPEND more time on keeping in touch with family. DID You hear that family? SO don't get sick of me if I text you more or call you!!!

Alright, that's a good start. WOW..I feel better already....

Nick and I are so excited to come home to Idaho for Christmas. Unfortunately I don't get out of school until the 23rd. That's right...ARE YOU SERIOUS? My students are starting to lose all sense of work ethic. One kid today was bouncing in his seat for an hour like tiger and he would not calm down. Oh man..going to be a long three days next week.

Well signing off for now. I am going to o funeral for one of my former students. So sad! He was a cute kid! His personality was off the charts. He will be greatly missed!

What I am Thankful for

I don't even know who reads this blog anymore. Maybe no one, but that's ok! I like blogging sometimes because it'a way to express your feelings. I have been struggling alot lately. Struggling with my job, and my feelings about life. I guess I am having a mid-life crisis. I am 31 mind you! :-)
I decided instead of wallow in my misery and make this a negative post, I would put a different spin on it.
Since its the Holiday season, I would post what I am thankful for and what in my life is a light and bright spot.
1.I am so very greatful for my wonderful husband that was brought into my life. He is my saviour in life. He puts up with so much from and always with a gentle spirit and heart. He my friends is one in a million. I guess I shouldn't brag about how wonderful my husband is, but I can't help it. He cheers me up when I am sad, and lifts me up when I am down. He comforts and kisses my forehead when I am crying, he listens to me when I need to rant. He is my best friend in the whole world. We still spend every spare minute we have together. I feel at home with him, and I know he is my soul mate. Him alone would give me a reason to get out of the dark cloud I am in.
2.I am so very greatful for my mom and dad. I could write the same things about them that i have my husband. When I wasn't married, and even though I am married I feel like they are some of my main cheer leaders in life. They have saved me in so many ways over the years financially and mentally. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am at in life. They were like my foot prints in the sand because I haven't lived by them through my adult life, but I always felt they were there with just a phone call away. I can't count how many times I called my mom in tears, and she was the calming voice of comfort I needed. How very greatful I am for them. THey are the perftect exmaple of sticking with family through thick and thin. I only hope I can show my children half of what love they have shown me.
3.I am so very greatful for my sister. My sister and I have not seen eye to eye alot of times over the years. After putting our "differences" aside we truly started to grow as real sisters. We have started being more honest with each other about how we feel, and I feel like I can go to her and vent about anything and she will listen. We are such very different people, but we seem to find common ground. She is a wonderful example of what a true member of the church is. Fos those of you that don't know, I don't go to church and probably never will, BUT she loves me for me, and I admire her for what she believes. She not only believes it, but she lives is. She is no Sunday mormon. It's hard to find people like that, that practice what they preach. My sister is also a wonderful mother. She is a true example to me. If I can only be half the mother she is I will be doing good. Going to her house is very peaceful dispite the drama going around with the children! If I was never able to have kids, I would be happy with being around hers for the rest of my life.I love you!
4.I am greaful for my brother in law Scott. First and foremost I am greatful that he provides a wonderful home for my sister and their kids to live in. I admire his work ethic. He is a hard worker, and he wants the best for his family. He goes after his passions in life, and that is something I need to do more of. I appreciate the respect he has shown me over the years when I have been in his home. He always acts interested in my life, and willing to offer advice when I need it.
5.I am greatful for my beautiful neices. Oh how I love these little girls. Nick and I adore them. Nick is in love with them as much as me! THey are such well behaved little ones. They are so smart and loving. There is no greater feeling then one of them running to give me a hug and a kiss. I love having them around. The sounds of laughter and giggling is music to my ears. They bring light into my life when I am feeling down. I am greatful my sister got married so young and she brought such wonderful kids into my life! I am also excited to meet my new little nephew.
6.I am greatful for my brother. He is such a hard worker. I know he is a phone call away when I have any question about money! We have had some good talks over the years. I know my brother has been through alot in his adult life, but he is strong and willing to work through his problems. He is a good example of working through something and keeping your head high. I hope that our relationship can continue to grow in life.
7.I am greatful for my sister in Law Macie. She puts up with my brother! haha..No kidding, but on a serious note...the woman is alway happy. She is very friendly to every one she meets, putting them at ease. She is always asking questions about my life and concerned with whats going on. She has a happy heart. She respects my brother and his ideas in life, and supports him. She is ONE strong woman. She is willing to tackle problems going on with a head strong attitude. She is a very loyal person to those that are family. She has always shown me love and made me feel important.
Ok, there are many other things that I am greatful for and people and that will be in another post. I listed all my family, but I have not forgotten my in-laws. I am very greatful for them as well. They are wonderful.
This post helped me to reflect on what is good and light in my life. I am in a dark spot in my life right now, and having some depression issues. I want to pull out of it because I have so much to live for!

THE BIG 3-1-Reflections....

SO today I am old. I feel old..but I dont' feel I look 31! I wonder what 31 is supposed to feel like?? I suppose if I had a few kids under my belt I would look more like 31. I feel like I have been a mother for years though..teaching kids can be a mothering experience. Sometimes I feel like I am going to burned out from kids, and will not want to be one.. ha ha! Wow..I am rambling already. Alot of wonderful things have happened this last year. I got married for one. Holy Moly, can I just say what a wonderful husband I have. How in the world did I get along without him??? He completes me in so many ways. I honestly would be content if we couldn't have kids for some reason. He is my better half. I feel like we melt into each other. From the moment we started dating we have been inseperable..bad spelling..but you get what I mean! I think our friends hate us because we seriously want to spend every spare minute with each others. The weekends are spent doing everything together. We have our little routine and love it. We are not exciting people, but we get excited to be together. I never thought I would ever have such a wonderful relationship. He is just a great guy. He is respectful and loving, and just a good person. It's hard to find someone who doesn't have alterior motives in life, and he really doesn't. His love for me is pure, and un-judgemental. I can be so difficult sometimes, and he handles me in a perfect way. Ok...my shout out to him is over, but I could go on and on.......BOY do I Love that man!!
I really can't think of any other huge event that has happened in the last year. I have learned alot about myself and am ready to move forward into my 31st year! I have a feeling it will be the best year yet. I look forward to all the exciting adventures that are coming!!!
Happy Birthday to me...ha ha!!!!

NO longer Private............SO EVERYONE READ!!

I don't know why I put my blog on private. There was no reason. I think I did it by accident, and then forgot to change it back. I guess a few people still read my blog. I need to be updating this blog more often. I really do enjoy blogging to be honest. I love to read blogs. So you need to leave me a message if you actually read my blog. I wonder how many do!
On an update.............
So Nick and I have some exciting news......









...........I am pregnant........................





HA HA...ok just kidding. OH wow scared myself writing that one. On that note..no we are not ready to have kids just yet! My news is exciting to me because I feel like it's a step into something I want eventually. Nick and I have the opportunity to rent a very beautiful house for just a little more then we are paying for our one bedroom rat hole! I know, I know..you think rent, but we may end up buying it in a year. It just depends on our financial situation. It's just great we can actually live in a three bedroom house with vaulted ceilings, a deck, two car garage, and in a nice neighborhood! We would buy right now, but I married a practical man. He has zero debt, and just paid off his car. I have all the debt, and he really wants to pay mine all off before we get a house. He also has medical bankrupcy on his credit for another year and a half. The man almost died when he was 21 from pneumonia. He was in the hospital for over a month hooked up to almost every machine possible. In the end he has over 130,000 to pay off in medical bills. He decided to file for medical bankrupcy. It is a ding on his credit, but he is so good at managing money. ANYWAY.............that's the story! I will post pictures when we move in. I guess it's exciting to me because I have never lived in a house. It will feel more like a family. The people we are renting it from just redid the kitchen and two bathrooms and put in new carpet.
Also, going to Vegas this weekend! Kind of spur of the moment trip, but we decided we need to get out of town!!!
I promise to update more only if all the readers leave me a message...:-)

Need to VENT...rough weekend..and it continues!

So, if you want something uplifting..stop reading! ha. I just need to vent! I am so upset because I was dead SICK all weekend along with my cute husband. I had to miss hanging out with my family on Saturday because I was to ill to get out of bed. Oh yea, I did get out of bed to drag my butt to the shower, and also to eat..only a little though. I was emotional for missing time with my family. NOT a good day. Then on Sunday I was still under the weather..along with that, I got another bad gall bladder attack. Not bad enough mind you to go to hospital, but it was border line, and did cross my mind. It seriously lasted over 12 hours. I couldn't sleep very good. On Monday, I went into the Doctor, and they said I have developed more stones, so getting it removed would be the best decision. Surgery FREAKS me out! Along with that doctor visit, I went to the foot doctor as well. I have been getting a bunion on my right foot, and it's taken a toll on my walking. It's not bad enough for surgery, but it's no picnic sometimes. I get alot of inflamation in there. I got a shot on top of my foot full of anti-biotics. WOW..never thought I could feel such a pain in my foot. That hurt like the dickens..and I am still walking around like a gimp. I thought it was supposed to make me feel better??? Well not so much right now. Today I have to a take a half day off of school to go meet with a surgeon to see if I can take this gall bladder out of me. PLEASE Get rid of it! Well, that's enough bad posting for now. On a lighter note, I get thursday and friday off of school for fall break! YEA....!! I promise the next post will be better.........
I just had to vent!

THIS IS FOR MY SIS!

Ok Chris so you better read this because I think you are the only one that reads my blog! I wish I had some pictures to update you with but I am at school on my lap top and i don't have any..maybe i do! Things are going decent. Nick and I are so back into a routine. I hate routine sometimes. Summer was filled with fun trips, wedding, and honey moon. I mean no..nothing! Wow, I guess my attitude seems bad. I think it's more like BLAH...ha ha. I am sure everyone can relate to the routine of life.It's crazy sitting here..my mind is totally blank. I guess here is my time to thanks my lucky stars. I should list what I am thankful far..Maybe it will get my juices going in the writing department.
1.I am thankful for my job..I complain all the time, but at least I have one that pays decent and gives me good benefits. Career change? Maybe..but for now thankful.
2.I am sooooo thankful for my marriage and my wonderful husband. Really, it's so rediculous how amazing he is. I think ok, can I even find something wrong with you? I really can't. We are such best friends, and he supports me in my weak moments, and I hope he feels like I support him. He accepts me for who I am and who I can be. Goodness I love that man.
3.I am so thankful for such a wonderful family. I love that our relationship gets better and better. SHout out to SIS and MOM especially. I love that we can be more honest and real with each other. I LOVE LOVE my neices. They are so amazing. They are beautiful and so special in every way. They are straight from heaven.
4.I am thankful for my car. Without that I would have to walk everywhere, and be out in the weather. I know it's really not the most important thing in life to have a car, but I am thankful.
5.I am thankful for friends. I have honestly been a BAD friend lately. I miss so many of my friends. I think, oh man I need to get in touch again with this person and that person. They honestly are in my thoughts all the time, but I don't really act on it.That is one of my goals right now to get back in touch with friends. WHY oh WHY don't I do it? Maybe because I am lazy..or just thoughtless..I don't know. To my friends, I love you and I know you are out there.

Alright that's enough of that..lol..ha ha. I will list more later. If any exciting news comes, I will blog it!

More Updates to COME..promise..BUT....

I introduce you to my new favorite item. I finally have my own snuggie! Have you seen the comercials?? They are on all the time. Well my sweet husband brought it home for me. I have been wanting one forever, because I get so cold in the winter, and he thought they looked stupid, BUT he caved and got me one. I also made him feel even more like a man when he tried in on for a picture. I think he looks like a monk..lol. Well, I will be back to bloggin more. I promise to update on all the summer activities!